Marriage is a beautiful institution. If you find the right partner, the journey becomes worth it. Falling in love and getting married can be quite a fairy tale for some people but for some, they might soon end up realising that their expectations from life and marriage are totally different from their partners. This is the reason it is very important to discuss some important aspects with your partner before getting married.
Unfortunately, most of the marriages are arranged marriages these things are often not discussed. They might seem very minor in the beginning but later on can become a bone of contention between the partners. Same goes for love marriage where both the partners are totally in love and forget to talk about many things because they are heads of heels with each other.
1. DISCUSS WETHER YOU ARE PLANNING TO STAY WITH YOUR IN-LAWS OR SEPARATELY-
Now that you are planning to get married so this point will obviously arise about where to stay after marriage. Like some people enjoy staying with their in-laws and some prefer to stay in a separate house. The decision is of the couple. It’s good to be clear from the beginning about what you want so that you don’t regret it later on. Staying with in-laws or not have its both pros and cons. Starting with pros- you will get to spend a lot of family time, getting to know the family, big support system, sense of security. Cons- you will not have privacy, no space of your own, you won’t be able to wear whatever you want, you will have to participate in all functions no matter how tired you are. For girls, this point is very important which should be discussed because it is mostly them who have to leave their houses and go to stay with their in laws after marriage.
2. WETHER TO HAVE A BABY OR NOT-
A baby can change the whole dynamics of the couples life. In fact, the marriage is totally changed when a new member is added to the family. Your life priorities change, you have someone dependent on you, increase in financial constraints and so on. Since becoming a parent is an individual choice so don’t assume that what are the thoughts of your partner on this matter. Some show keenness in becoming a parent and some don’t want to become one. It’s a personal choice, but if you and your partner are not on the same page then it can create massive differences in your married life. I would suggest that if you are interested in becoming a parent someday choose a partner who also thinks the same. At the same time, if you are not interested then again your partner should be on the same page. Don’t go with this feeling that you can change someone after marriage.
3. FINANCIAL PLANNING-
With marriage comes a lot of financial responsibilities. There is also an increase in expenditures like rent, grocery, food, vehicle, bills and the general standard of living. If both the partners are responsible and are conscious with their spending habits they can lead a comfortable life. It is very important to discuss about the budget of the house, various expenses and to get to know each others spending habits. Also if you are planning to have a kid then you might have to think about your future child’s fund too. A couple should be on the same page in terms of financial planning. Some important things that need to be discussed are- rents, loans, EMI, credit cards, bank accounts, mutual funds. Also be very honest with your partner about each other’s finances.
4. INTERESTS AND HOBBIES-
Well you might think that of course I am interested in the person and that is why I am marrying him/her. But here, I am talking about other interests and hobbies. Let’s see for example- your partner loves to travel but you don’t. That partner would expect you to accompany them to all the trips and you end up blowing it off by showing your disinterest. This will ultimately lead to an argument and bitterness. I am not saying that both partners should have same interests or hobbies because that’s not possible since two people can never be alike but it’s always good to be sharing some interest or hobbies which will lead to a healthy bond. Suppose, you and your partner loves to cook then you will enjoy cooking together on that Sunday afternoon. Discuss about your hobbies and interests with each other and find a common interest over which you will bond.
5. EXPECTATIONS FROM LIFE AND MARRIAGE-
We are all different. Our expectations from life is different and so goes on with the marriage. In marriage, there are few values which act as the foundation of the union between two people and if those values are disrupted or are not present then it can lead to a serious repercussions on the married life. Partners must discuss their core values with each other. They must tell their partners about what they consider to be the core values of the marriage. Some common core values are- respect, loyalty, honesty, communication, listening, caring, understanding, trust, respecting each others opinion etc. It’s best to come clean with your intentions and preferences before tying the knot.
After reading all this one might start to feel that marriage comes with a lot of complications and responsibilities but trust me when I say that if you and your partner before getting married discuss these above points mentioned then it will lead to a happy healthy marriages life.